Voice Over Blog

You Leave Me...Breathless...Ahhh.

 Okay, I was watching t.v. last night and I've just got to get this one off my chest.  You can tell the rookie voice talents are doing more and more commercials in this economy.  How, you ask?  You can hear them breathing.  No, it's true.  With the advent of digital editing, it takes no time at all to go through and eliminate breaths.  Especially those really big gasps that tend to happen when you're trying to cram too much copy into a :30 spot.  Come on people.  Maybe it only stands out to people in the business, but get 'em out of there.

Last night I heard a t.v. spot for a local furniture store, but I couldn't tell you what they were selling, because all I heard were the big gasping breaths.  Then a spot for some law firm came on with no music background, which made the gasps stand out all the more.  An extra five minutes in edit and they would have been gone.  A good friend in the business once told me, "If your lips ain't flappin' you ain't actin'".  If you don't believe me, listen to the national spots.  I'll bet you won't hear a single breath. 

Now, please understand...I love breathing...just not in commercial work.  So, spend the extra few minutes and make the spot better.  For the rest of you, now you know what to listen for to tell the spots been produced on the cheap.  Thanks for reading and we'll leave the mic on for ya.

On Stage and Naked

 Have you ever had the dream?  I'll bet you have.  For me, I'm on stage in a play in my underwear, without a clue as to what my lines are or even who my character is.  Well, it came as close to reality as I ever care to experience this past week.  I was emceeing an event at the Downtown Mariott.  I was filling in for my good friend Mike Pace who was unable to fill in for our good friend Terry Rich.  I had received the script and schedule with a full two days notice, so had no trouble figuring it out.  It was all written right there.  I was to introduce Des Moines Mayor Frank Cownie, then Mike Tramontina, head of the Iowa Department of Economic Development.  Then they had a few comments from the president of the company hosting the seminar and he was going to introduce their key-note speaker.  No problem.  We got through the first two introductions and the president got up to say a few words.  Then, rather than introducing the key note speaker, he sat down.  After an awkward moment that seemed like an hour and a half, I accepted my fate and returned to the podium.

Naked...on stage...no lines...I had just met the key note speaker.  I knew his name.  That was all.  Here, with a few possible changes, is what I said.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am genuinely embarrassed.  I just met our key note speaker, but I literally know nothing about him.  Which reminds me of a story that seems appropriate for this situation.  A number of years ago, a good friend had the pleasure of introducing Charleton Heston at a local event.  He was honored to have been asked, but as you can imagine, was also a little nervous.  After their dinner, he stood up, read the announcements he was asked to do and then began with a little background on their honored guest.  Just as he was about to introduce Mr. Heston, he looked over and there stood the film legend in the wings.  Nerves hit and our emcee simply could not come up with Charleton Heston's name.  It was gone, and no combination of adlibbling seemed to help.  So, he finally looked up and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce a man who literally needs no introduction".  He held his hand out and Charleton Heston made his way to the podium.  So, it is in that spirit that I take great pleasure in introducing a man who literally needs no introduction, Mr. Bob Willard."

The crowd shook with laughter, Bob Willard came to the podium and it was a wonderful speech.  Now, the argument can be made that it wasn't really my fault, just a breakdown in communication.  But, an emcee should always know what he or she is talking about, or might have to talk about, so I accept full blame.  But honestly, that's as close as I ever care to be to that nightmare of mine.

Thanks for reading and we'll leave the mic on for ya.

Huh?

 We do more than our share of training narration, and occasionaly come upon lines of script that defy understanding.  This is an actual line from a script we're getting ready to do....“The primary object here is the Schedule object, that at scheduled times writes to properties in objects in the same device that holds the schedule or, optionally, in other devices.”

Please note that this is as it was written by the engineer.  The agency writer tells me he's going to rewrite this line.  Presumably in English.  I just had to share.  Thanks for reading and we'll leave the mic on for ya.  You know.  The mic that is used to record in the studio, that at scheduled times records to our digital audio work station, or optionally, into other devices. 

Keep On Smilin' (Sung to the tune of Keep on Smilin')

It's a scary time out here in the advertising world.  What am I saying?  It's a scary time, period.  You can't help but get depressed listening to or watching the news, or just catching snipets on your home page news when you sign on.  But fear not.  We'll make it to the other side.  We have to.  For you fellow entrepreneurs, remember why we started our companies?  For me, it was the thrill of doing what I love to do.  And after twenty years, I still can't imagine doing anything more rewarding.  (Well, maybe if I'd become a doctor.)  But there's so much going on that we simply have no control over.  We've already lost two clients to this economy.  Either already gone or preparing to close their doors forever.

Not the old Radio Garage.  I promise.  We'll keep it going somehow, no matter how bad it gets.  I've invested way too much blood, sweat and tears to see it go away.  And along the way, if we can help you get through this, please know that we will.  If it's a "friend rate" on a project or just some cheering up after you've watched the news, we're here for you.  I've always believed that business is personal and this is one of those times where a personal commitment is what it will take to get us through.  So, keep smiling.  In the words of Tony Wilson at Applied Art, "I am not my business, I am not the house I live in, I am not my possessions.  And what I am cannot be taken away".

Thanks Tony, thank you for reading, and we'll leave the mic on for ya.     

What I've Learned from Cartoons

  Ray Liota was in our studio just a couple of weeks ago.  He's in town shooting a movie and the folks at Warner Brothers needed him to do voice work for their upcoming movie "Dogs & Cats II".  Needless to say, it was a thrill for us to be able to help.  When doing voice over for animation, it's traditional to use two microphones strategically spaced at 18 and 36 inches, so you get a lot of the room dynamics that you don't worry about when you're working the microphone closer.  In a quandry as to how to accomplish this I was doing some on line searching, when low and behold daughter called and wanted us to watch Kung Fu Panda with her.  Now the movie was just fine thanks, but the special features included the answer to our dilemna.

There sat Dustin Hoffman and Jack Black and the whole cast, one at a time of course, in a dank dark studio where every surface had been covered with moving blankets, regular blankets, a few coats from producer types and I'm sure I saw a sham wow in there somewhere.  What timing.  I went on line and found a company that actually makes "acoustic blankets".  Honest, they look just like moving blankets, only white and obviously cleaner.  So now, thanks to cartoons, the Radio Garage is much quieter.  And those white moving blankets hanging from the ceiling add a certain "new age" ambience that I kind of like.  Of course I love the decorating at Famous Dave's.  So next time you need to isolate a voice, call Two Men and a Truck, or just grab whatever you can from the kids' rooms.  And don't forget the Sham Wow.

Thanks for reading and we'll leave the mic on for ya.

Hope

  At age 55, I've voted in a few elections.  Each time I've wanted to believe that this was the one.  The one that could truly bring us together and remind us that no matter what happens, we are all in this thing together.  The one that could finally get us past our petty partisan politics and that common sense would once again persevere.  Over the years I've also become as cynical as the next guy.  But maybe, just maybe.  Dare we hope again?  Is it truly okay for us to dream again?

If anything, that's what this election was about.  No matter where you stand on the issues, this was one of those defining moments that at it's core, was about wanting to believe again.  That government is by the people and for the people.   Not just the rich and the powerful, but each and every one of us.

Okay, you caught me.  I'm a dreamer, an idealist.  I believe our new president when he says, "Yes, we can".  Now let's get out there and fix this mess.  Thanks for reading and we'll leave the mic on for ya.

The Real "Bail Out"

As much as I'd like to take credit for this, I received it in e-mail this morning.  But believe me when I say, "I'm Steve Mathews and I approved this message".

I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG. Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.


To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+. Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up.. So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals
$425,000.00.


My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend. Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let's assume a tax rate of 30%. Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.
That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam. But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife has $595,000.00. What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family? 

Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.
Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads
Put away money for college - it'll be there
Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
Buy a new car - create jobs
Invest in the market - capital drives growth
Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves
Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else
Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks
who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company
that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed
Forces.
If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( "vote buy" ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.  If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG - liquidate it.
Sell off its parts.
Let American General go back to being American General.
Sell off the real estate.
Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.
Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.
Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work."
But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!
How do you spell Economic Boom?


I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC. And remember, This plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.


Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest

I gotta tell ya, when I got this e-mail it really made sense.  Until my son figured out that the math doesn't work.  See if you can figure it out.  Grab your calculator and do the math for yourself.  Darn, and it sounded so good.  Thanks for reading and we'll leave the mic on for ya.

Goodbye to a Voice Legend

I'm stunned.  I just read that Don LaFontaine passed away yesterday of complications from a colapsed lung.  I've had many heroes through my voice-over career and certainly Don has to be near the top of that list.  For those of you that never heard of him, do a google search and you'll learn about an incredible man who enjoyed huge success with his voice.  The industry has lost an icon.

What I Did on My Summer Vacation (Or Fish Slaying 101)

Did you miss me?  At all?  Well, Terry Sparks made me go fishing in South Dakota last week.  As you can see in the picture, it was just miserable.  I'm being sarcastic.  We had a hoot.  But I must tell you that Terry is a very serious fisherman, so it really wasn't fishing as much as it was being a hand on a commercial fishing boat.  Terry has this incredible Lund fishing boat with dozens of rods and reels and like 8000 different lures to catch virtually any fish imaginable.  He also has the Fishrad 9000 radar unit that costs like nine billion dollars and requires a separate boat to tow it.  It shows every fish in the lake, every pebble on the bottom and makes Julian Fries to die for.  Did I mention that we found Jimmy Hoffa?

I couldn't help but notice the other fishermen in their puny little boats and only three or four rods and reels eyeing us.  Some with envy, some with disdain, "Cause that ain't really fishing ya know".  There were four of us that invaded the lakes of Northeast South Dakota.  Two boats, no waiting.  So the fish never really stood a chance.  We caught our limit of Walleye and Crappie, and as you can see, one really disgusting carp. 

I wasn't the best fisherman in the group either.  Terry and his brother Bruce and Jesse Roush are all tournament fishermen.  Really, they compete in fishing tournaments all around Iowa and beyond.  So they know what they're doing.  And they look the part.  They're wearing special shorts with like hook proof pockets and shirts with zippered compartments for carrying the secret lures that you don't want anyone else to know about.  (Lead lined so that spy satellites can't even see.)  And they're hats say things like Lund and Berkley and Fireline.  The hat I'm wearing in the picture is from Willow Creek Golf Course.  Out of place?  You bet.  Did I have fun?  Just look at that smile.

Thanks for reading and we'll leave the mic on for ya.

This Will Solve the Gas Crunch

Okay, so I'm like 90% sure this will work.  Our accountant is a wonderfully pragmatic guy and very conservative when it comes to politics and money.  We rarely agree on politics, but I'm really glad he's conservative with our money.  But I digress.  At lunch just the other day we were complaining about high gas prices and how it's putting the economy in the toilet, when Steve (our accountant) came up with the solution.  It seems that all you need is 10% down to buy oil futures, and most experts agree that a huge percent of what's making crude oil prices so high is futures trading.  So what to do?  Have congress mandate that you need at least 30% down to buy oil futures.  Immediately the bottom tear of investors will drop off and oil prices will begin to fall.  "But Steve, you ignorant slug, congress can't control all of the world's investors".  And you're right, and knowing how congress works, this would never get passed anyway.  So, here's my suggestion:  we all take the money we got back from the government lately and invest in oil futures.

Laugh if you will, imagine every penny you got back going to oil futures.  Now, if it's true that's what's driving up the price, we'll all make out like bandits and be rich in no time and we won't give a @#&^ about the cost of gas.  In fact, we'll all be smiling the next time our driver stops in to fill up because the higher it goes, the more we make.  I love capitalism.  And okay, so what if it doesn't work?  What have you lost?  It's money that you didn't have in the budget anyway.  So, come on America, get on the phone and call your stock broker today.  If you don't have a broker, there's probably a website just for this sort of thing.  Oh, and if this doesn't work, I know of a gentleman in Liberia that's trying to transfer a huge sum of money and will give you a million of it if you'll just send him your bank account numbers.  I'm telling you, I'm in the money.  It's just around the corner.

I saw this in a cartoon and I'm pretty darned sure it'll work.  Thanks for reading and we'll leave the mic on for ya.